I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
