ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
