And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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