i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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