who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
