I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
