She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
