Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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