Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
