this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And then he peed in my hair
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