did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
