I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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