We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I still have a little drunk in my system
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
