Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize