So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
