He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm having to shit out rocks
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