I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
