I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
