Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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