speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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