the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
