My liver just broke up with me...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
