You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
