do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize