Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
