after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
