so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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