i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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