She is in my trunk
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
