Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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