i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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