needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
