So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
