WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
organizing the empties. That sober.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
