Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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