He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
