jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
