he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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