There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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