go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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