Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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