hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
