a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
