Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
