Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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