My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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