That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
