He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
