I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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