I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize