there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
