I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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