Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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