It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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