Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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