I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
