Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
