I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
