It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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