Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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