oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
